Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Coming out of the Dark Closet

I feel like for the last few weeks.. ever since I cracked open the New Testament in hopes of finding debate material and finding Christ instead... well, I've been embarrassed and shy and I feel like a huge hypocrite coming out with my new found belief system to friends and family. My mom is Catholic, and I'm finding her views on Christ and the bible... are vastly different than most Christians... and My pop is Agnostic himself... Discussing Christ with them, well they both look at me like I'm a little "nutso".

Slowly, I've outted myself to long distance friends online... my ex boyfriend *we were together for nearly 5 years* is one of my dearest friends now. I told him first... and he said he was relieved that I'm not an "atheist" but kind of a worried about how zealous I feel over Christ. He said... "It's really good to believe in God.. and have 'spirituality'... but don't get too crazy with the Jesus stuff". *sigh*

So then, I outted myself to a couple other people who just told me the same opinions *be careful where you go with that... don't get Evangical on us*. *sigh*

Then, finally last night, I came all the way out and I told my closest and dearest friend- Who's a a huge Dawkins fan and self proclaiming Atheist Science Extraordinaire. I was most scared to tell her, but in almost our first minute of talking She said "Don't worry, I will still love you even if you are a Christian". This sounds like a silly statement, but it meant the world to me. See, my world, my friends, family, acquaintances are almost all Agnostics... they all think Christians are "creepy".

So, my bestest friend and I had the bestest chat ever about God, Creationism, the Bible and Christ. It felt sooooo good to be really honest with someone about all my viewpoints and have them just listen to me and not call me crazy.

In other news, I'm finishing up on Exodus right now. Go Moses. I'm also joining a bible forum... where I hope I can ask questions and receive positive feedback.


  1. Jessica,
    Your story and blog are great! I praise God that He has saved you and brought you into the light. I also thank Him that he has given you the courage to tell your friends about your newfound love for Christ. Here in the Bible belt, I'm from Texas, we have a much different problem from what you spoke of with your friends. Here in Dallas everybody claims to be a Christian and everybody likes Jesus but your wierd and unwanted if you love him too much. If he is your everything than they dont get it. God is a hobby down here not something you devout your life to. But thanks for posting your story and I look forward to reading more in the future.

    In Christ,

  2. Thank you so much for your kind comment. I may not always say things that are PC on here, but this is MY story of how I'm finding Christ on a day to day basis. I think about Him constantly, and I love writing about Him and my journey with Him. Thank you for reading.

  3. I love the honesty and enthusiasm you reveal as you share your amazing life journey with us.

    The way you found Jesus while cracking open the Bible to find material to use against Christians, really reminds me of the apostle Paul. There he was, out to destroy the Christian Church, but one encounter with Jesus, and his life changed too.

    God bless!