Saturday, March 14, 2009
Asking Jesus for forgiveness.
I'm feeling very upset and volatile towards a good friend of mine today, and I'm having problems connecting with Jesus in my mind. I am praying that He gives me the strength I need to get through this rough afternoon. I am praying that I can live as Christ wants me to, in His light. Please Dear Lord grant me this serenity.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Back from my trip
I went on a week long vacation last week. It was bittersweet in many ways, but this blog is about my relationship with God, not others. :)
On the plane, I read my bible (reading Leviticus now) and Lee Stroble's A CASE FOR FAITH.. and this book entitled "23 Mins in Hell". 23 mins only took me 2 hours to read, and it was okay, but I didn't really believe in it... In case you haven't heard about it, it's one Christian's real life tale about an unusual journey to Hell that lasted 23 mins. I just don't think God goes out handing Hell experiences to whoever. I think the bible was written... and finished, for a good reason. I don't think anything can be "added" to it... and this seemed like some sort of "addendum".
If it saves people, who am I to judge though? The author goes on a lot about meeting Jesus... I also found that hard to believe.
On my trip back home, I skipped around in Psalms and I read all of Revelations. Why Revelations? I don't know. There was VERY bad turbulence on my plane ride, and I felt like Revelations was so visually descriptive, that it gave me something to focus my mind on outside of the bumpy and un-nerving ride. I tried to wrap my head around "Judgment" Day, as a baby christian, how I am now, it seems so inconceivable.
That's all for now.
God Bless.
On the plane, I read my bible (reading Leviticus now) and Lee Stroble's A CASE FOR FAITH.. and this book entitled "23 Mins in Hell". 23 mins only took me 2 hours to read, and it was okay, but I didn't really believe in it... In case you haven't heard about it, it's one Christian's real life tale about an unusual journey to Hell that lasted 23 mins. I just don't think God goes out handing Hell experiences to whoever. I think the bible was written... and finished, for a good reason. I don't think anything can be "added" to it... and this seemed like some sort of "addendum".
If it saves people, who am I to judge though? The author goes on a lot about meeting Jesus... I also found that hard to believe.
On my trip back home, I skipped around in Psalms and I read all of Revelations. Why Revelations? I don't know. There was VERY bad turbulence on my plane ride, and I felt like Revelations was so visually descriptive, that it gave me something to focus my mind on outside of the bumpy and un-nerving ride. I tried to wrap my head around "Judgment" Day, as a baby christian, how I am now, it seems so inconceivable.
That's all for now.
God Bless.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
A busy week... drifting from God.
I am planning for a week long vacation this week, and life has felt hectic.
I realized last night that in all my planning, I put God on the back burner. I felt so upset when I realized that I hadn't prayed or talked to Him in a few days. *sigh* I felt things were off kilter in my life.. many things just weren't flowing properly, and I couldn't figure out why... it's because I drifted from The Father in my own selfish planning.
Also, I'm not comfortable with praying yet.. so I do this sort of "half wanting to..." pray thing... where I'm thinking about praying... but I don't actually do it. It's weird, I know. Last night, I had a good Pray time with Him. There are always things I want to ask for: like a safe trip, or success in my endeavors... etc... But last night, all I could do was apologize and praise Him. I told Him everything I hope to accomplish in my life, and I was surprised what happened when I let my heart do all the talking.
I told Him my deepest desires of following Christ... of learning all I can from the bible... and trying to help others do the same. I poured my wretched soul out to Him about all my sins- this week... and I talked to Him about how I want to improve for Him and Him alone. I asked Him to help me with my weaknesses, so I may become a stronger follower of Christ's teachings.
This morning, I woke up feeling more refreshed than I had in a week. Everything feels good again. I just have to remind myself to keep praying, keep reading my bible.. and keep building on my relationship with Him even when I'm going on vacation.
God Bless.
I realized last night that in all my planning, I put God on the back burner. I felt so upset when I realized that I hadn't prayed or talked to Him in a few days. *sigh* I felt things were off kilter in my life.. many things just weren't flowing properly, and I couldn't figure out why... it's because I drifted from The Father in my own selfish planning.
Also, I'm not comfortable with praying yet.. so I do this sort of "half wanting to..." pray thing... where I'm thinking about praying... but I don't actually do it. It's weird, I know. Last night, I had a good Pray time with Him. There are always things I want to ask for: like a safe trip, or success in my endeavors... etc... But last night, all I could do was apologize and praise Him. I told Him everything I hope to accomplish in my life, and I was surprised what happened when I let my heart do all the talking.
I told Him my deepest desires of following Christ... of learning all I can from the bible... and trying to help others do the same. I poured my wretched soul out to Him about all my sins- this week... and I talked to Him about how I want to improve for Him and Him alone. I asked Him to help me with my weaknesses, so I may become a stronger follower of Christ's teachings.
This morning, I woke up feeling more refreshed than I had in a week. Everything feels good again. I just have to remind myself to keep praying, keep reading my bible.. and keep building on my relationship with Him even when I'm going on vacation.
God Bless.
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